Food is NOT my enemy....or is it?

I have come to realize that my view of food is very distorted, unhealthy even. I see it as my enemy most of the time. Too much food, too little food, doesn't seem to matter how much thinking or planning I do, it continues to be my enemy. If I eat too much....gain weight; if I drop my calories too low...can't lose weight. Todays calorie count may be right on, but that same calorie count tomorrow may be too much. The simple lines of dieting are skewed when you have PCOS. There is NO gray area. It's black or white, but that varies day to day. SO, it shouldn't be surprising when women with PCOS either give up or land in a depressing state. Where is the balance? Add exercise, strenuous exercise, to this equation and you have a distorted road map that gets you no where. Seems hopeless in so many ways. How do you overcome all the obstacles and STICK WITH THE PLAN, even when the plan seems to change? It seems then, that food is our enemy. A more healthy approact would be that food is a source of fuel. Because so much pleasure comes from food, embracing it completely and without boundries is so much more enjoyable than restrictions. How about, "food is deadly"? THAT has become my filter through which I see food. I have learned through years of research that women with PCOS cannot eat certain foods. We are not able to process; or break down, foods with sugar, high carbohydrates, high fats. If we can't break them down, then they turn into fat. So, I look at those foods through a filter. I have to constantly ask myself, "How long will this stay with me?" "How much pleasure will this bring me, and is it worth the pleasure?" Most people can eat a piece of wedding cake at that special event and it will take them a couple days to get their body back on track. For a woman with PCOS, it could take weeks, even longer to get their body back to a state of losing weight. Adding that sugar into our system turns the sugar into sludge. The woman with PCOS has a body that becomes a train being pulled backwards while it tries desperately to continue forward. Is it worth the set back? For the last couple of years, I have denied myself at almost every event, almost every opportunity. Nothing white...no white sugar, no white potatoes, or bread, or pasta, or rice. This was the first filter through which I viewed all food. The second was a fat filter. It had to be low fat, and only the good types of fat. (MUFA's...more on that later). When I let up on these two filters, which I have learned to let myself do for special occasions, I KNOW the train has stopped, and will take a while to get going again. I have to work harder, longer, and better than I would if I didn't have PCOS. Once you acknowledge that you must view food through filters, the lines become less foggy. The map becomes more useful. If I lose ONE pound a month, I have learned to be happy. That one pound rarely happens unless I have put in about 10 hours a week at the gym and been extremely strict with my diet. It has taken about 3 years, but I have come to grips with the simple fact that my body is NOT going to lose weight faster. I would be booted right off the Biggest Loser at the first weigh in!!! PCOS is a daily struggle. But staying the course is worth the results....even if they take FOREVER to see it on the scale.